My knees were shaking. I couldn’t believe I was actually doing it, but there I was behind the steering wheel in my white Ford F150, trailer hitched and secure behind it. I glanced at my 18-year-old son in the passenger seat and my 19-year old daughter and her friend in my old Explorer parked next to us. Thumbs up from both kids. “Let’s roll!”
The end of an era.
As we pulled out of our sunny California neighborhood, I pondered the end of an era, the end of a marriage and the hope of a new beginning. It was June 2020. The pandemic was in full swing. I was 52 and a single mom of two college kids with our stuff and our dreams all packed up in our little trailer, heading out to begin our new life in upstate New York. We were about to leave the only life we’d ever known in the only place we’d ever known, powered by visions of a better future.
I thought about the many moments leading up to that big moment. A few years prior to this, leaving my husband and moving out was not an option, but I thought maybe I could get a trailer to use as a tiny refuge, something I could take the children with me on adventures. I drove to my local RV dealer where I was hit with my first big question. “What is the tow capacity of your vehicle?” I had no idea, but my Explorer had a hitch on the back. So the RV salesman showed me where to look in the door jamb to find my tow capacity. That was the beginning of realizing I didn’t even know what I didn’t know.
My “Mint Dream”
My 2017 Riverside Retro Whitewater 177SE, or the “Mint Dream” as I later named her, became everything I’d hoped she would be. Had I towed before? No. Had I camped before? No.
It occurred to me that I should probably learn some more stuff about taking care of this trailer. I had no idea how most things worked in it. What is propane anyway? And why is there a switch for it on my refrigerator? And how was I supposed to empty the tank?
It occurred to me that perhaps there was a podcast or something where you could learn about camping and maintaining a trailer, and that’s when I discovered Janine Pettit and Girl Camper. From the very beginning I was taken in by Janine’s sweet, friendly, encouraging voice as she taught me how important it was to do things like regularly check tire pressure, distribute weight properly when packing for a trip and even how to empty the wastewater tanks.
My camper was my refuge.
I found refuge in my camper. Janine became my friend and I would imagine she was there with me. I started to feel not so alone. Whether the topic was about an inflatable kayak, campfire meals or the importance of roadside insurance, I always felt as though Janine would teach me all that stuff I didn’t know that I didn’t know. And she did! My teenagers begrudgingly began to enjoy camping with their wild mom and they learned to hitch, unhitch and tow; skills that I didn’t learn until I was 49. Magical things happened on those trips. Yes, we saw scenic wonders, but with the peace and distance those trips afforded me, I found a newfound sense of clarity and with that clarity, came the solution I had been seeking.
I realized that I shouldn’t be afraid to make a major change, if in my heart that was the right thing to do. After all, in my middle age, I managed to learn the technical skills needed to maintain and tow a trailer, with all that entails. If I could learn to do all of those things, then perhaps I could learn to do a lot more, like how to rebuild a life. It’s not that I hadn’t believed in myself before, but I began to believe in myself a lot more. I was offered a job in a place where I could afford to buy my own home and where both of my college-aged children had received generous scholarships.
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My son had some reservations….
My son had reservations about Mom’s wild road trip that summer when we left our home in California. He couldn’t understand why we didn’t just fly to New York. I tried to explain to him that it wasn’t so much about the destination as the journey. We learned a lot along the way; I taught him about vintage R&B and he taught me about modern hip-hop. We drove through deserts, mountains, prairies, farmlands and cities. Over that two-week trip, I showed my children the Grand Canyon, Zion National Park, Horseshoe Bend and eventually, our new home in upstate New York.
An epic trip.
Weeks later, my son turned to me and said, “Hey, I just wanted to say thanks. That was an epic trip Mom. You killed it!” And I smiled. It all began with a little place of my own, my Mint Dream. And a little help from my friend Janine Pettit. Thank you Girl Camper for helping me to get out there, go places and do things.
This article by Monica Todd was originally published in Girl Camper Magazine.
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